Chivalry

Today I was walking down a street which in places was covered in ice and very slippery. So, at one point I slipped and fell over, and a passer-by kindly stopped to offer his help. My first instinct was to refuse the offered hand. Of course I didn't need help! I hadn't hurt myself, and there was a railing I could hold on to while getting up. So, kindly but firmly I said no thanks, I'll manage. I regretted it as soon as I had let the words out of my mouth. To be sure, I was capable of getting up on my own, but would it have degraded me if I had leaned on some stranger's hand instead of the railing? I would have got up just as quickly, and he would have had reason to feel good about himself after helping out a damsel in distress, as it were. Maybe this was my chance for a life-long romance, too, and I had bolloxed it up!

I think we Finnish women are too used to the idea that we can get along on our own, without any special treatment. Old-fashioned chivalry is quite obsolete here. When I lived in Bulgaria for a while, it was really hard for me to get used to having doors opened for me and my coat helped on me. The point is, it doesn't make you feel as if you weren't able to do something yourself; rather it makes you feel very feminine, which is really nice! Maybe I have to teach myself to be a little less independent.